Many people choose a career based on their passion and that is a great thing. “Choose a career based on what you love and you will never work a day in your life” or “Work is Love made Visible” are two of my favorite sayings. Unfortunately, some people choose a career based on other, less healthy motivation such as material wealth, prestige, or expectations of parents or spouse. Another situation that we see is career by default…meaning the person believes they had no choice…not realizing they actually created their own professional destiny with beliefs, words and actions they expressed for a long enough periods of time, and with enough emotion, that this way to earn money just came to them, in other words, they attracted it. This situation is fine if you are happy with the outcome of that position in the work world BUT if you find yourself in a place where you hate your job, and dread going there each day, this is where life coaching can be of great value.
Another application for life coaching is health or well being and still another is relationships. I chose the path of mind / body coaching after experiencing first hand how my own thoughts, beliefs, and words were attracting things into my experience, good and bad, and wanting to share that amazing revelation with others. Once I figured out how I was getting what I was getting and that I was actually in the driver’s seat when it came to creating the life and experiences I wanted, I developed a passion to help others learn the same principles. As a result, I have never felt like my career is work, but rather a dynamic, exciting and joyful way to be present in the world…and yes, it even provides an income! I’ve never been focused on earning a big paycheck. I find when I relax about money, it flows to me effortlessly. When I focus on the lack of money, no flow.
My friends and family always marvel (and at times get jealous) of my rich and famous lifestyle, even though I don’t even have a salary, a boss, a 401K or own a lot of big material things. I live the life of a very wealthy person in the way of travel, fun, abundant free time, cultural enrichment and very little stress. I am surrounded by amazing true friends and experience harmony in my relationships.
This is not because I am luckier, smarter, or magical in any way…I am just living daily from a place of gratitude and joy. I live by the very simple principles summed up in The Law of Attraction, The Law of Deliberate Creation and The Law of Allowing, otherwise known as The Teachings of Abraham. I incorporate these teachings into my coaching practice and share them, as well as many others I have learned with the central theme being, we are all the creators of our existence here on earth. Things aren’t just “happening” to us. We are creating our story with our thoughts, beliefs, words and actions every minute of every day and more importantly, attracting those things we give our focus and attention to.
Most of my clients have nothing but positive things to say about their introduction to this way of living. They express their gratitude in receiving it because they have listened to it with an open heart and mind, followed the instructions and have experienced miracles of change in relationships, work and day to day living. I do have a few stubborn ones with a “know it all” attitude and they are a challenge because this stance of resistance to alternative ways to grow, keeps them from growing. There’s a saying, “When the student is ready, the teacher appears.” Sometimes people come to me saying they want change, but after a session or two, I see that they are not yet ready to let go of old patterns of thinking and behaving. Some professionals call this “uncoachable”. I call it a fun challenge. I have a protocol for those folks that includes a lot of repetition of certain principles. I may make them listen to a certain recording 10 times in a row, or read a certain book 10 times in a row. Habits, good and bad, are created by repetition. Some habits are created deliberately, like a work out routine and many others are created by default, meaning we have programed ourselves in a negative way and now we have to reboot with a new program with better information. When my clients stay on course and remember to use the tools I have offered, the more harmonious they become in the world & their relationships are mostly peaceful.
When I was younger, I was often angry and disappointed everyone else wasn’t behaving as I would, being the kind of friend I was. I spent a lot of time taking things personally and being irritated at humans in general! I know what it’s like to walk around with a black cloud over my head. I was so negative in my late 20s and 30s not even realizing it and as a result, my life was often filled with chaos, deceit and betrayal. We attract what we fear and loathe and I feared abandonment above all. I loathed disloyalty and guess what? I kept attracting friend and love relationships that were abusive, one-sided and many times ended in betrayal and abandonment. Because I didn’t know any better, I continued to attract negative people into my life who wanted to listen to my victim stories and add in their negative take on it all. We would sit around ragging on the world, and regurgitating all the gossip and bad news that was always finding its way to us. It’s only when I was shown there was a better way and that my attitude was not serving my own growth or helping me live out my true reason for existing, that I decided to try to change. I was my own worst enemy and when I was introduced to an alternative way to think and feel that finally made sense to me, I poured myself into it because I wanted to feel better, live better, and love better.
I was so tired of feeling hatred, anger and disgust…instead of acceptance, empathy and hope. I didn’t even realize how my thoughts were making my insides feel until I latched onto the teachings of Abraham & The Law of Attraction like my life depended on it. I watched The Secret 100 times.
I read The Power of the Subconscious Mind over and over highlighting the things that stood out for me. That’s how I started changing my own vibration and attracting amazing people and other teachers into my life. To have met, hugged, listen to and read Wayne Dyer was a miraculous and life-changing experience for me. I do my best to live out the principles he talks about in Wishes Fulfilled and as a result, I’ve learned so much about how to create the life I want through my imagination, feelings and beliefs.
It’s so important in the beginning stages of your personal transformation, that you choose your company carefully. I can’t emphasize enough the importance of staying away from the vampires who wanted to suck the joy out of your dreams and piss all over your metamorphosis. Chances are you still have a whole posse of negative people out there in your circle that you have attracted, and they are about as excited about you turning your back on a miserable existence they can relate to, as an alcoholic’s drinking buddies are about him getting sober. You realize in sobriety who your true friends are and you will find the same to be true when you decide to purge yourself of the addiction of drama and negativity. Misery loves company and when you become unwilling to partake in negative gossip or chime in with a friend with more dirt to add to their latest story of “how I got screwed over”, you will be met with resistance within that peer group. Again, just like an alcoholic who is newly sober shouldn’t go to a bar or place themselves in a precarious position, you should take the same precautions when you are new to the power of positivity. When we share our excitement about our new found way of thinking with people who are rooted in their anger, in their opinion, in victimhood or in their need to be right, we are met with resistance, scorn, sarcasm or anger because those ones have been trained to fight back, prove they’re right, argue their point or lash out at the world when they perceive it’s not being kind or fair. Since you are new at this, you need to avoid those situations until you become so well-versed in this new way of life, you can look at them with compassion and send them love BUT it doesn’t knock you off your path by engaging in a positive way. “You only hurt the ones you Love.” Many times this happens when we lash out at those who are trying to help to show us a better way to deal with these tough situations.
I am not perfect. I don’t live a perfectly peaceful existence. I still let people and situations get to me but what I really try not to do is to take it out on the ones I love. I would rather run, swim or paddle out my frustrations or just get in the water and wash away the negativity that is clinging to me. Because I am so sensitive and a sponge soaking in all the energy around me, I have to be more diligent than most in choosing surroundings and people that are on a high level positive vibration. When I come in contact with the opposite of that, I have tools now, a decade of practice and an awareness, of how to deal with that. As a result, I have a mostly joyful existence but I if I fail at times, I recognize that, think about how I could have handled that better, and carry on.
Doctors are trained in health, yet many eat like crap, smoke, drink, don’t exercise and don’t deal with their stress in a healthy way. It doesn’t matter how much training or book knowledge we have if we are not willing to put it into action in our own lives. The teachings of Abraham give action steps to help us better navigate and ultimately start to create the life we want. It’s amazingly simple yet effective. There are life lessons that are all around you, and these “opportunities for change” are the best ways to work on your perception and reaction to what’s happening around you and then choose a solution or reaction that feels good. It takes real dedication and desire to change deeply rooted patterns. The only way to reprogram these behaviors is constant practice. That’s why the sayings are ‘practice gratitude’, ‘practice patience’ and ‘practice love’. That never goes away. We are always going to be practicing. Real change can’t happen without us recognizing there’s a problem and cultivating a real willingness to change. Kindness begets kindness. Love begets love. Anger begets anger. It’s pretty simple to figure that out, but not so easy to respond to anger with love or to pessimism with optimism.
The mission or path of an Earth Angel or Light Bringer is to bring light to dark situations. I don’t believe I am some special chosen one. I believe anyone can choose the path of an Earth Angel. All it takes is a desire to help those in need and the willingness to learn about how to do that. Earth Angels are driven, sometimes annoyingly so, to help those we love and care about to end their suffering and their struggle by choosing love, choosing laughter, choosing to let go of anything not serving our highest good. When you are living in the light, and you realize your thoughts, words and actions are responsible for that, naturally you want everyone else to realize that also. To learn more about Earth Angels, click here.
My goal in mind/body angelic coaching is to show my clients a better, easier way to deal with the curve balls life throws and even more importantly, to introduce the concept that the reason you are getting what you are getting is the manifestation of your own thoughts, words and actions. This is always met with resistance at first because none of us want to take responsibility for the things we do not want in our lives. We say, “but I would not have created this!” and The Law of Attraction says, “you would not have created this on purpose, but there is creation by default.” Meaning, when you think about anything with passionate emotion, it matters very little if it’s positive or negative, if it’s strong and passionate, you attract it into your experience. Fear, anger, worry and resentment are very powerful forms of beliefs or feelings and unfortunately, they attract even more quickly than love, joy, peace and gratitude because most humans give more passionate powerful thought to those negative emotions. Once you realize this, you become really careful to not hang on to those emotions because you realize the power behind them to create more of what you do not want in the living breathing creation called your life experience on earth.
We all fall short when it comes to living in peace & harmony. We are human but more importantly, we are spiritual beings living out a human experience. So many are oblivious to the fact that they are creating their own hell on earth. If you don’t like the life you are living, the first step in creating something you do like, is understanding how you got there. You either learn through pain or joy, but the lessons will keep coming. You can create joyful or painful experiences but you are going to continue to create regardless so doesn’t it make so much sense to grab the reins, and start creating a life that is harmonious and filled with joy and love?
I am so grateful to have had many great teachers over the years. Just like any new lesson or skill, the better the teacher, the more value you’ll receive from their lesson. Learn from those who are living a peaceful existence and have mastered effecting positive change in themselves and others, so much so, that millions of people are listening to them, buying their books, cds and videos. Try not to take advice from those professionals who are not walking the walk, talking the talk and seem to demonstrate “do as I say not as I do.” Just because someone has a masters in psychology, doesn’t necessarily make them an expert on creating a peaceful life. True peace comes from a willingness to accept all people and all situations, even ones you don’t agree with at all. The Law of Allowing is of great value in these situations.
If the people closest to you in your life (spouse, boss, best friend, adult child, or parent) are put off by your new found devotion to living a more positive life, you might need to share some of these ideas with them in a non-threatening way. Chances are they will be inspired and attracted to your new disposition and want to know more. Be gentle and give them small pieces they can digest. A quote here, a book there, a cd for the car, or a clip on YouTube are great ways to slowly introduce these skills to those you love most. Sometimes, when you are unwilling to jump into a negative conversation, or show support of a victim story they are dying to share, they can take that as “uncaring” or “unloving”. Explain to them that there is a huge difference between empathy, and in agreeing with or adding more negative emotion to someone who is stuck in negative thought patterns. Those who are trained to reject negativity will always turn away rather than commune with it. Understand, there is no value in agreeing with or adding fuel to an upsetting situation. You are not helping the one who is troubled when you are feeling sorry for, getting angry with, or in any way choosing to jump on that low flying disc. The ONLY true way to uplift, to empower, to change a negative vibration and get them back on a high flying disc, is to turn their focus, emotion and attention to something more positive and pleasing. If you’ve made a couple attempts and now it’s starting to seep into your soul and your emotional guidance system is on high alert and saying “abort, retreat, run” then you need to listen to that and remove yourself. Leave them to stew and steam in the misery of their own making, and then perhaps later, they will be more open to hearing your suggestions on how to deal with said situation in a more positive way.
I recently had a go round with one of my best friends regarding this exact subject. I listened for a bit and then tried to interject some positive points and remain cheerful and sunny, but he was not budging off his rant and was clearly consumed with a cloud of “why me” furry. So I said, “If you tell me about all the shitty things that happened to you, you will never hear me say, well ya humanity sucks, people are lame, you should punch that idiot out, you are right to have road rage…run them off the road! I won’t chime in on that stuff anymore mostly because it doesn’t feel good inside. I have this emotional guidance system that is really in tune and sensitive, and it will force me to reject that typical human pattern of agreeing with someone in their misery. It does not serve me or them to take that stance. It might sound like I don’t care, but I do, very much. I just am not going to express it in a negative way. I am going to try with all my might to change the subject, change the energy and change the outcome to one that is more positive and focuses on all the good still out there despite all the struggles.” He didn’t talk to me for awhile but then came back with a lovely email thanking me for trying and asking me not to give up on him….which I never would. As long as there is a willingness to learn and to grow, I am willing to go through the exercises, even painful ones, with my loved ones and my clients. I truly believe we are all capable of creating more joy, and vibrant health in mind, body and spirit. My daily mantra or prayer is that we all live a peaceful existence full of unconditional love for all things.
Thank you for reading! I hope you will click on some of the links in the post and watch the videos. This is valuable information I give to you freely with the hope you may use these tools in your own life. If you feel I can be of assistance as a mind / body wellness coach, feel free to email me and set up a free 15 minute evaluation call.
Aloha, Alyssa Joy